Stolen Kiss
by Shadow Padawan
Summary: SLASH. ObiWan and Anakin both have feelings for each other but have no idea that the other feels the same. Will they ever find out the truth? Will it be too late? Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a hard mission, no doubt about that, and Obi-Wan had to admit, if only to himself, that he was more then a little tired and more then a little sore. His back ached and his head felt like it had been stuffed by bricks. Obi-Wan was appalled at his inability to keep his full concentration during the council debriefing. All he really wanted to do was go back to his quarters, take a shower, and go to sleep, in his own comfortable bed. He was hungry but feared that he wouldn't have enough energy to cook himself anything.

Obi-Wan was so caught up in his hazy thoughts that he didn't realize that he had reached his apartment until he almost passed it. As Obi-Wan put in the entrance code mechanically his senses stretched out instinctually to probe the inside of his shared quarters with Anakin.

Anakin. That was a warm and welcome thought. His not-so-young padawan, to Obi-Wan's pleasure, was home. The door swished open and Obi-Wan staggered into the hall and then the common room.

"Master!" Obi-Wan turned to see his grinning padawan walk into the common room from the small kitchen. "Master, you're home! Agh…tough mission I can tell."

Obi-Wan smiled his thanks as Anakin took his cloak from him, still beaming happily. Anakin's hand brushed against the bare skin of Obi-Wan's neck and the Jedi knight felt a tingling feeling running down his spine. Obi-Wan squashed the feeling reprimanding himself mentally. These sort of feelings were absolutely inappropriate.

"I just got back from training so I didn't have a chance to fix anything up. If you wait just a few minutes…" Anakin was saying oblivious to Obi-Wan's emotional struggle.

"No, no, Anakin. I think I'm going to take a shower and get some sleep. You are right it was a tough mission."

"I hate it when the council splits us up," Anakin admitted, the smile dropping off his face.

"Sometimes it's necessary," Obi-Wan said calmly, though he couldn't help but agree with his now pouting padawan. He also hated it when the council split them up.

Obi-Wan walked into the 'fresher and turned on the water. The weary knight dropped his clothes on the floor and stepped into the shower under the hot water. He let the warm stream wash away the grime that had plastered itself onto his body in the most uncomfortable of places and had tangled into his hair. The hot water made him relax and eased up overly tense muscles.

He reached out through the Force so he could sense the proximity of Anakin's Force signature. It felt so good to be near the young man again. So very good. Obi-Wan knew that he shouldn't be feeling this way but he couldn't help it. Anakin's face floated to the front of his mind and he couldn't stop anymore. He was captivated by brilliantly blue eyes and a cheerful smile formed by lushes pale pink lips. In his mind he could see Anakin's long lashes as they brushed against his cheeks. The lingering trace of Anakin's touch on his neck burned and Obi-Wan wanted to feel that same touch once again. When did the little boy from Tatooine grow into such an intoxicating young man?

After letting himself soak a little Obi-Wan made quick work of the rest of his clean up and exited the 'fresher into his bedroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. What he didn't expect was Anakin sitting on his bed nursing a mug in his hands.

"Anakin, what are you doing?" Obi-Wan asked as he motioned for Anakin to turn away while he yanked up his sleep pants.

"I…I just thought you'd want some tea, Master. That's all." Anakin's voice was soft and gentle, sending shivers up Obi-Wan's spine.

"That's very thoughtful of you," Obi-Wan said sincerely as he sat down on the bed next to Anakin and took the mug from his padawan.

Obi-Wan inhaled the sweetish aroma of the tea before taking a long satisfactory drink from the cup. He twisted to set it down on the small bedside table and felt a sharp knifelike pain shoot through the still tense muscles of his back.

"Master? Are you alright?" Anakin's hand was warm on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

Obi-Wan sat the cup down gently and turned back toward Anakin slowly, trying not to wince. "I should be alright, Padawan."

Anakin frowned worriedly. "Master, let me check for any possible internal bleeding or other injury."

Obi-Wan would have argued but he was too tired for that. And a part of him wanted this. Wanted Anakin to touch him, to feel the young man's hands glide over his back, soothing him.

Anakin, if he was puzzled by his master's cooperation he did not show it, scooted on the bed so that Obi-Wan could stretch out before touching Obi-Wan's shoulders and pressing gently. Obi-Wan gave a soft moan at the contact and nuzzled into the pillow.

"Does it hurt that much, Master?" Anakin asked taking away his touch as he had misunderstood Obi-Wan's reaction.

"No, Anakin," Obi-Wan mumbled hazily.

Anakin's hands returned to Obi-Wan's shoulders and he started moving them down his master's back in search of any hidden injury.

Obi-Wan let himself relax as Anakin's hands slid over his back. The touch made him shiver with pleasure as bare skin touched bare skin.

"I don't see anything serious, Master," Anakin concluded finely. "I think you're just too tense so the nerves in and around you muscles are going crazy."

"Possibly…"

"I'll help you relax, Master," Anakin offered in a soft sensual tone. He leaned down slightly so that Obi-Wan would hear him and the tip of his braid tickled Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"Not necessary, Padawan." Obi-Wan couldn't deny, though, that he was lying through his teeth. He mourned at the loss of contact between him and Anakin and a consuming part of him wanted Anakin to keep going, to never stop.

Anakin persisted and Obi-Wan soon fell into an Anakin induced trance. He wanted Anakin to explore his whole body. He wanted to return the favor and touch Anakin in that tender way himself. If Obi-Wan tried to protest Anakin would only respond with a soft, "Shhhh….you want this, Master. I know you do." And Obi-Wan had nothing to say because it was true. He did want this. He wanted Anakin and he couldn't deny it anymore.

But there was nothing he could do about these feeling because he was a Jedi. And so was Anakin. And surely Anakin could find himself someone better…younger at least…to risk his career for. So Obi-Wan took what he could of the moment. This might be the most intimate he would ever be with his dear boy. Because Anakin never had and never would have these feeling for him. At least one of them would be a better Jedi, even if it was at the expense of Obi-Wan's heart.

Anakin waited until Obi-Wan was asleep before he stopped. He looked at Obi-Wan with love filled eyes feeling guilty. He had taken advantage of Obi-Wan's weakness to forge himself an excuse to touch Obi-Wan in the way he might never be able to again. Obi-Wan would never love him in the same way, Anakin was sure. Obi-Wan was just too Jedi. But regardless of Obi-Wan's decision on the matter Anakin couldn't wish away his feelings. There was a force that pulled him toward Obi-Wan. With Obi-Wan he felt strangely complete.

Anakin leaned down and kissed Obi-Wan's bare shoulder lightly. It was a stolen kiss and Anakin knew that that was the only kind he would be able to have when it came to Obi-Wan.


	2. Chapter 2

The wind howled around the Jedi fighter-ship as it swerved around the mounds of Geonosis in a pursuit of Count Dooku, the newly revealed Sith Lord. The two Jedi aboard were in a fierce argument over weather they should follow Dooku or return for Senator Amidala who had fallen off the open-sided ship.

"I can't take Dooku alone! I need you!"

_I need you! I need you! I need you! _The words echoed in Anakin's head over and over again. Obi-Wan needed him. But he couldn't leave Padmè. She might be badly hurt. She was dear to him. If he lost her he would loose a friend, a confident, someone whom he cared about and who loved him too.

But one look at Obi-Wan made him doubt his decision. It was rare for Obi-Wan to ask for help. So very rare. And if Obi-Wan needed him then…

But Obi-Wan was talking again. Talking about catching Dooku and ending the war. "…we have a job to do!" So that's what this was all about. Duty. And only Duty. That's all that Obi-Wan seemed to care about.

"I don't care put the ship down!"

"You will be expelled from the Jedi Order!"

"I can't leave her!" He couldn't leave Padmè. But could he leave Obi-Wan? He would never forgive himself if something happened to Obi-Wan.

"Come to your senses! What would Padmè do in your position?"

"She would…do her duty." Just like Obi-Wan was doing his. But wasn't his duty to protect Padmè too? These people made no sense at times. So he would have to follow his heart. Obi-Wan or Padmè.

Thinking that Anakin had been pacified, Obi-Wan had turned away to look out at the battle field. Anakin watched the way the sun reflected off of Obi-Wan's copper hair and the way Obi-Wan's broad shoulders worked to loosen tight muscles. A pang in his chest made his breathe catch for the only moment he needed. Anakin chose Obi-Wan. Anakin stayed.

* * *

"You're going to pay for all the Jedi you killed today, Dooku," Anakin spat contemptuously as he jogged with Obi-Wan into the hanger just in time to prevent Dooku from escaping. The two Jedi had their 'sabers activated and could feel the Force humming around them as they moved in tandem.

"We'll take him together. You move in slowly on the left and-"

They didn't have time for this. "I'm taking him now!" Anakin snapped and charged Dooku. He didn't get far however before Dooku's Force lightning grabbed Anakin in its angry embrace and threw him against the stone wall.

Obi-Wan felt his heart skip a beat and he reached out frantically through the Force to see if Anakin was alright. Dooku's taunts were only buzzing in his ears and his own answers were automatic. When Dooku attacked him with his red lightsaber Obi-Wan was forced to take his mind off of Anakin and focus on the duel.

He desperately needed Anakin at his side, though. Dooku's Makashi form was specifically designed for 'saber to 'saber combat and Obi-Wan started to slowly but steadily loose ground. When Dooku finally got through his defenses Obi-Wan had to pay dearly. Dooku made a clean slice through Obi-Wan's left shoulder. Obi-Wan gripped his arm as a fiery pain spread from his shoulder through his whole arm. Dooku then struck at Obi-Wan's hip, slicing easily through the soft flesh. Obi-Wan's leg buckled and he went down in a heap with a strangled cry of pain.

Anakin had started to regain consciousness though his head spun making him feel dizzy and nauseas. His blurry mind was suddenly pierced by a familiar cry. Anakin's eyes fluttered open and he felt his breathe hitch as he watched Dooku raise his 'saber over Obi-Wan's crumpled form.

_No! _

"NO!" Anakin forced himself to his feat and, gathering the Force around himself, leapt forward to intercept Dooku's blade.

He fought Dooku then. First with two lightsabers then with one. His body burned and ached, protesting his sudden movements. He had to kill Dooku. He had to. Because if he didn't…Obi-Wan would be done for. And Anakin could not allow that under any circumstances.

When Dooku's blade sliced through his arm Anakin was too shocked to completely understand the meaning of the injury. He felt himself flying backwards and landing harshly next to Obi-Wan. He had failed. The thought was heavy on his mind and he scooted closer to Obi-Wan in a vague attempt at shielding the man so dear to him.

_Obi-Wan can't die….what have I done? _

That was his last thought before he passed out.

* * *

Anakin sat at the window in one of the wards in the healers wing at the temple. He looked moodily at his new artificial arm and then back out of the window. The world seemed to be collapsing around him. Why did everything have to go so wrong? First his mother dies, then the war, and now his arm was chopped off and replaced by this metal terror. It was hideous, it was revolting, it was…dead. Everything seemed to die around him.

He shut his eyes and reached out to his master, taking the time to savor the brightness of that familiar Force signature. He had been so scared… so scared that he would loose Obi-Wan. Well thank the Force for that at least.

Anakin pulled his knees up to his chest and stared out the window. Obi-Wan was coming, he could sense it. There was a short, formal, knock on the door – Anakin smiled at Obi-Wan's refusal to abandon formalities such as these even when there was no need to hold to them – and Obi-Wan had come into the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

Anakin looked over at Obi-Wan and smiled softly in greeting, his eyes growing gentle and sympathetic. Obi-Wan's shoulder and upper arm was bandaged and put into a temporary splint, and he was leaning heavily on a cane as to not put pressure on his wounded hip. "Hello, Anakin."

"Master," Anakin nodded and scooted over on the bed so that Obi-Wan could sit down next to him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Obi-Wan answered, not really concerned about his own injuries. "You, Padawan?"

Anakin looked away from him. "I'm fine," Anakin lied softly.

"Anakin, don't lie to me." Obi-Wan reached out and touched Anakin's check lightly before quickly removing his had, afraid that the gently gesture would give him away.

"If I say I'm fine then I'm fine! I don't want to talk about it," Anakin snapped.

"Don't shut me out, Padawan. I'm only trying to help,"

"There's nothing you can do to help THIS." Anakin threw his mechanical arm in the air and stared into Obi-Wan's eyes.

Obi-Wan looked at the prosthetic arm for a moment and averted his eyes.

_He can't even look at it. He's repulsed by it… by me. _

"Let's go home, Anakin."

Anakin nodded mutely and getting up offered Obi-Wan his left hand to help him stand.

* * *

Anakin looked down at Padme who was nestled comfortably in his arms and sighed softly. What was he doing? Why was he doing it? He didn't lover her, not the way she thought he did. Not the way he should. But he couldn't let go of the only person who understood him. The only person who's love for him was unconditional.

He forced back another sigh. He longed to be loved, longed to be needed. And he cared about her. He really truly did. He loved Padme… he just wasn't IN love with her. But she was in love with him.

He knew he could make her happy. He knew that there was such a simple way that he could at least make someone feel like caring about him was worth while. Hadn't he failed enough people already after all? He wasn't able to save his mother and he had disobeyed Obi-Wan's warning about Dooku. It was his fault that Obi-Wan had gotten injured.

But Padme still loved and trusted him. How could he tell her it was all in vain? "Padme?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, Ani?" She looked up at him with loving eyes.

"Would you marry me?"


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING: This chapter contains rape. it is majorly non-graphic however it is more then just implied. Therefore if this subject matter disturbs you do not read.**

* * *

The streets were dark. The desert night air cold and biting, clouds of sand rising up to choke those who were unprepared. The sand clouds grew thicker, the coarse sand settling on anything and everything, covering the world with its itchy, coarse blanket – the beginnings of a sand storm.

Obi-Wan looked outside the cantina into the uninviting half-empty streets of Mos-Eisly from where he stood near the entrance and decided that he now had a good idea as to why Anakin hated Tatooine. It wasn't a welcoming place to say the least.

He felt fidgety for some reason. He really shouldn't have had as much to drink as he did but his contact on this mission had insisting that he try some of the nicer alcohol here. The man even paid for him. Maybe this was what was making Obi-Wan so uneasy. It wasn't everyday that someone you didn't know offered you drinks and didn't want anything in return.

Obi-Wan shrugged, deciding that he was being unreasonable and stepped out into the night. He walked through the streets, encountering different beings from time to time and starting to feel relatively at ease.

The part he hated most was the maze of alleys that were supposed to take him back to his quarters. They were dark and isolated. Obi-Wan paused, wishing that he had a speeder with him, or at the least Anakin. He sighed and started down the narrow streets, the alcohol in his system helping his relax so that he didn't really expect an attack…

It came before Obi-Wan's dulled senses could fully alert him to the danger. Something hit him in the back – hard. The air was sucked out of his lungs and he fell to the ground, face first, with a muffled grunt.

They were upon him then. Five of them, tall, bulky, smelling of alcohol and cheep whore perfume that they had picked up earlier in the evening. Obi-Wan found himself pinned to the ground, his lightsaber discarded, and a cold mettle band snapped onto his neck. The Force screamed out of existence and Obi-Wan felt himself go numb. No this couldn't be happening. How could he have fallen into such a simple trap? His so-called contact straddled him as his goons gathered around to watch the show. Obi-Wan winced as his wrists and ankles were bound and his outer robe ripped off.

"Oh look, boys!" the young man on top of him, Shad, sing-songed in a sugary voice. "We have ourselves a pretty little Jedi I see." The goons laughed. Shad slammed Obi-Wan's head against the ground making him inhale sand. He chocked on it and was thrown into a raging coughing fit. Shad laughed. "Stupid, gullible, Jedi whore."

There was a touch of cold metal to Obi-Wan's neck and then a ripping sound as a small sharp knight cut neatly through his tunics. The cloth fell around him and he could feel cold, rough hands on his back. More ripping and his trousers were split open too. Obi-Wan felt the world spin. He tried to struggle but only received sharp pains from his wrists and ankles. "You will pay for you nosiness, Kenobi," Shad muttered into his ear, making Obi-Wan shiver. "My friends like a good night of sex. I hope you like having your brains fucked out of you."

Mounting horror built up in Obi-Wan and he felt himself go numb from the implication. _No, Force! Anakin! Anakin, where are you?_ But of course his partner wasn't there. Anakin was back on Coruscant.

"What do you say, boys? We all have two turns each?"

"I thought I was getting a blow job?" someone said huskily. "And he's a pretty one."

"We'll see about that," Shad grinned. "I can tell this one's a virgin in every way. This is going to be more fun then I though!"

Obi-Wan tried to shut the world out, to disconnect. He had stopped struggling by now, seeing that it was useless. _Force! _A pressure against his entrance made Obi-Wan squeeze his eyes shut. Then there was pain. A sharp burning pain. The world blurred – the images, the sounds.

Pain.

Humiliation.

Queasiness.

Blood.

More pain.

A seconds' emptiness.

And then it started all over again.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, there was complete emptiness. The world returned to some form of clarity. And now all that remained around him was the sand, a cold night, and an empty street with no one there to see him cry.


	4. Chapter 4

Anakin woke with a start. His breath came in hot, sporadic gasps and he sat up in bed, blinking frantically in order to adjust his eyes to the shadowy darkness of the room. He turned briefly to see if he had awakened Padme and seeing that she was still fast asleep he got out of bed and pulled on his black silk robe.

Anakin rubbed his temples as he padded through the senatorial flat into the kitchen. His body felt soar and his mind shaken. Something was wrong…terribly wrong. If only he could figure out what it was.

Anakin took out a pack of blue milk and poured himself a glass of the slightly bubbling liquid. A dream, some dream – nightmare – that he had had. What was it about? Another vision? Anakin closed his eyes and breathed in deeply as he let some gentle currents of the Force flow through him and search that subconscious portion of his mind. There was a sick feeling there, a feeling of wrongness. There was cold, and sand – Force, he hated sand – and…Obi-Wan? Was Obi-Wan in the dream? Obi-Wan, yes, enveloped by some sort of dark mist. But, yes, he remembered now! Obi-Wan was certainly there, calling out for him – to him. Something was off about it all. Maybe it was Obi-Wan's eyes, teary and haunted.

Anakin's eyes snapped open, his heart raced and he chewed on his bottom lip. Reaching out carefully as to not disturb it, Anakin reached for his bond with Obi-Wan. It was still there, still bright and strong. But there was something peculiar about its familiar buzzing. At first it seemed as though it was quieter then usual, probably a result of Obi-Wan's shields being extremely high. But once Anakin contemplated the feeling there was some sort of anguished, frantic undertone there.

The young Jedi shook his head. Obi-Wan was going to be alright. It was just a dream. Just another fucking dream.

* * *

The news that Obi-Wan was returning from his mission at least a week earlier then expected hit Anakin pretty hard. In combination with his dream the night before he was eager to find out what had gone wrong. At least Obi-Wan was coming back, without a rescue unit at that. With that being an achievement in itself for Obi-Wan, Anakin managed to talk himself into being calm for the next few days that it would take Obi-Wan to return to Coruscant.

However, Anakin arrived early at the landing pad and waited anxiously and impatiently for the ship to arrive. He was rather high-strung so when he saw Obi-Wan coming down the ramp he dashed at him, throwing himself into Obi-Wan's arms, swooping his master into an unexpected hug.

Obi-Wan had seen Anakin waiting for him. The sight of the young man made a temporary wave of warmth ripple through his body. It was an incredibly sweet sensation. Such a contrast to the cold that he had felt since...The Incident. On the long hyperspace flight he had thought repeatedly as to what he was going to say. Would he tell Anakin? And if he did what could he possibly say? The memory hurt. The flashbacks, nightmares, phantom pains of his sore-as-it-is body were such fresh reminders that he wanted to come to a decision quickly. Inevitably he came to the simple decision to leave The Incident out of the equation. No one would know. It was only better that way.

As he made his way down the ramp he nodded at Anakin and was a little surprised by the boy's sudden dash in his direction. Anakin ran up to him and enveloped him in a tight hug.

_He was held down roughly. Unable to move barely able to breathe. The cold night air bit at his bare skin and as he tried to struggle against the man who was holding him too tightly he received a painful jab in the side. He struggled against his captor again and pushed him away roughly… _

"Master?"

Obi-Wan blinked. For a moment his mind was confused. He was standing with his hands slightly in front of himself and a rather confused and hurt looking Anakin standing before him. There was no sand, no dark nigh, no attackers.

"Master, are you alright?"

_Wonderful now I'm hallucinating,_ Obi-Wan thought bitterly. "Yes, Anakin, I'm sorry. It's just…you startled me."

_I shouldn't have thrown myself at him like that, _Anakin though, his cheeks coloring in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Master."


	5. Chapter 5

The smell of marshmallows was what woke Obi-Wan up that morning.

_What is Anakin doing in the kitchen again?_

He decided not to think about that. Anakin had an uncanny liking for experimenting with food. It usually didn't end all too well.

Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes and sat up, pushing the blanket away and allowing the cool morning air to tingle across his torso. The Jedi rubbed his eyes, they felt dry and itch, most likely blood shot.

_Stupid nightmares…_

He really didn't know why the nightmares wouldn't leave him alone. He had meditated on it and come to terms with what had happened to him on Tatooine…or so he though. But still they came. Nightly horrors of sand, blood, pain, humiliation… And just when he thought they were gone they came back again. He would wake up sweating and teary eyed, his thoughts racing.

But one would always surface out of the chaos in his mind. Anakin. He would reach for the bond, his shields still extremely tight, and feel the soft glow of his sleeping apprentice's Force signature. It always felt so nice to know that Anakin was near by. It was beyond comforting. The fear, disgust, and self-loathing would fade and all that would remain would be the soft light of Anakin. That beautiful glow that meant that everything would be if not ok then better.

But at the same time Anakin's closeness frightened him. What if his shields gave way and the images of his nightmares would spill through the bond and trouble the boy's sleep? What if he woke up calling Anakin's name before he could stop himself? What if Anakin heard and came running to his side? Because he would and then there would be no avoiding the gentle inquiries that his persistent padawan would shower him with.

But how could he tell him? It felt terrible enough to feel this filthy. He had been used in the worse way possible and he, a Jedi, had not been able to do anything about it. How could Anakin ever put his safety into Obi-Wan's hands again if the older Jedi couldn't even protect himself? Why hadn't he sensed the danger? Why was he fool enough to get drunk on a mission? He shouldn't have let this happen. No, no, he couldn't bear to let Anakin know what had happened. It would break his heart to see, what he imagined, would be the horrified and disgusted look in Anakin's eyes. He wouldn't be able to stand the pain of seeing Anakin move away from him, to know that Anakin didn't see him as anything more then a—

A nock on the door broke through Obi-Wan's mental rant. The door creaked open and Anakin poked his head in. "Morning, Master! Everything alright? I thought the smell of food would surely lure you out of here." He grinned.

Obi-Wan smiled back. "I'm coming, Anakin. What's for breakfast?"

"Meh, bacon, toast, scrambled eggs."

"I thought I smelt marshmallows…"

Anakin winced. "Yes that didn't work out too well." He blushed a little.

"Alright. I'll be right there. At least you managed not to burn the place down today."

"Yes, Master." The door swished shut.

Obi-Wan let out a soft sigh and started for the 'fresher. Ironic wasn't it? The more he wanted Anakin's comfort the more he realized he could never have it.

_Oh it's not ironic at all_, Obi-Wan decided finally, bitterness clinging to his thoughts, _it makes perfect sense. I don't deserve him. I never did and I deffinetely don't now._

* * *

Anakin had to admit that he was worried. Something about Obi-Wan was so…off lately. He didn't even know how to express it correctly. Nether did he know when it had started. The furthest he could trace it back was after Obi-Wan's mission to Tatooine. _That Force damn planet messes everyone up_, Anakin though bitterly. Ever since then his master was heavily shielded – Anakin had no idea how Obi-Wan could keep those kind of shields up day and night and still be more effective then simply functional – for another he looked tired most mornings and woke up way later then usual. Anakin guessed that it had something to do with his troubled sleep lately. He'd stood at the door several times watching Obi-Wan toss and turn, something obviously bothering him. All his mental probing met tight shields. One time he finally gave in and slipped deeper into the room with the intentions of soothing the nightmares away. But the moment he lightly touched the other Jedi's temple Obi-Wan woke with a start and, when his breathing had leveled out, asked Anakin to not "startle" him again like that, please. At training Obi-Wan pushed him more then usual – more then necessary even. His master had always accented on defense but lately it seemed to escalate to an obsession.

"_You think it's all about attack don't you, Anakin?"_

"_No, Master, but—"_

"_Do you know what happens when you can't defend yourself? You get killed…or worse! I never want to see you daydreaming during a mission! Do you understand?"_

"_Master, I—" Anakin tried again to defend himself. _

"_Do you understand me, Padawan?"_

"_Yes, Master." Anakin was fuming inside. It was a minor mistake. He was tired after hours of training, one. Two, they weren't on a mission. Three, he wasn't a defensive fighter, for Force sakes! "Master, what's wrong?" he finally asked as he watched the fire drain from his master's eyes. _

"_Nothing, Anakin. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped…"_

The flashback faded away as Obi-Wan came into the kitchen, looking rather pristine but still somewhat disheveled on the Obi-Wan scale; a certain scale that Anakin was convinced was several notches above everyone else's. "Sleep well, Master?" Anakin asked, putting food on the table and shooting Obi-Wan a meaningful look.

"I'm afraid not as well as I would have liked to," the other replied honestly.

Anakin sat opposite Obi-Wan and looked him over critically. "You wanna tell me what's wrong?" he asked finally.

"Nothing's wrong, Anakin, I've told you."

"Yea, and I suck at flying. Really, Obi-Wan…don't you think I can tell that something's wrong?"

Obi-Wan looked up into a pair of beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes that always held him captive and seemed to be his saving grace. They were the eyes of an angel, his angel, and now they were full with an intense concern and there was a desperate plea in their depths. Obi-Wan tore his eyes away from Anakin's. No, no, he couldn't think about it now. He couldn't let Anakin convince him into telling his secrets. He knew the boy cared about him…and he wanted it to stay that way. Obi-Wan jumped from his seat, muttering about having to be somewhere and bolted out the door.

Anakin watched him go, a sinking feeling in his stomach beginning to grow rapidly. _He ran away from me_, Anakin thought bewildered. _He's…he's hiding something from me…_

He had never thought of it before but now it seemed so damn clear. Why else would Obi-Wan be so jumpy around him? Why else would his shields be so tight that Anakin could barely even feel him through their bond? _What have I done to drive him away like that?_ The worst part was that he had no idea what to do. He didn't know where the problem lay so there was nothing he could do about it no matter how much he wanted to.

The young man dropped his head in his hands, clutching desperately to his padawan braid as though to assure himself that it was still there. He had to do something, had to talk to someone.

_Palpatine._

Anakin liked that idea. Yes, he would talk to Palpaine. Palpatine had no secrets from him and he had none from the chancellor ether. He always went to Palpatine these days, because somehow the man always found a way to soothe him. He always made Anakin feel like he wasn't retarded for feeling the way he felt, that his fears were very much well founded, whatever those fears may be. It should have been terrible to hear your own fears confirmed like that, but when it was Palpatine talking it was strangely soothing. It nurtured some deep subconscious part of Anakin that he wasn't even aware of.

The young Jedi grabbed his cloak and strolled out of the apartment.

* * *

That night Obi-Wan came home to an empty and dark apartment. Anakin wasn't home; he could sense that before he even came inside. A cloud of fear for his young padawan and bitter disappointment that Anakin wasn't there like he usually was settled over Obi-Wan and he went through his evening routine in a slight daze.

He noticed it before finally deciding to go to bed, even without Anakin home – a message on the communit. He pulled the message up and a scaled hologram of Anakin popped up.

"_Hi, Master. I won't be coming home tonight so please don't stay up and wait for me. I'll be back tomorrow in time for training, I'm just staying over at a friend's house. 'Night."_ The hologram flickered off.

Obi-Wan replayed the message again but this time he didn't listen to the words. He merely looked at Anakin, at those beautiful eyes. He reached out to touch the young man's cheek only to have his hand go through the hologram. Strange, it shouldn't feel this bad. There shouldn't be this empty space where Anakin should be. But he'd have to go through the night without knowing that Anakin was in the next room, almost close enough to reach.

_This is why I can't tell him – being feeling this alone is almost unbearable now. _


End file.
